guardian angels

The last few weeks/months I’ve stopped and have looked at my life “from my front porch looking in” and I’m so incredibly happy with the life I have that I sometimes am too afraid to let it be known as I feel “it’s the calm before the storm” or that any moment the giant black hole is going to open and say, “see that’s what you get for being so darn happy!”. Any moment my life could be turned upside down and drastically change. I’m almost in denial as if I don’t acknowledge the good, the bad will just stay away. When I mentioned my feelings to Ty, he agreed. He often felt the same way. We both take each day as a new one and work through whatever issues are brought before us, never asking for help, never stopping to enjoy the good {we celebrate the big stuff, but don’t focus nearly enough on the small things}, just keep truck’n through {we’re so similar in so many regards it’s kind of scary}. We’re both so determined and competitive that it works for us to push through the more challenging aspects of our life, complain about them to each other and then move on. While this works for us, I think we’re missing the bigger picture. We’re missing the small things, the small joys of life because we’re focused on the larger, more difficult issues and trying to be prepared for them.


When my Grandma Georgia died, we found her will. It wasn’t your typical will, but then again Grandma Georgia wasn’t your typical grandma. She believed in guardian angels, blue birds of happiness, sequins, and all things gold {not in that order}. One story that’s very vivid to me was when I was in 3rd or 4th grade and she came over to our house. She asked Nick & me if she could borrow our guardian angels to help her find an angel pin that she had lost in her car. Her angels had already looked and couldn’t help her locate it. I quickly responded that my angels didn’t do much for me, but they always seemed to help Nick. What do you know; Nick found the angel pin within minutes... She never gave up telling me I needed to ask my angels for help, and I never gave up not really caring about my angels, until...

I received a copy of her will. She wrote the will in 2003 and it’s almost like she knew I’d need a little guidance down the road and it just so happened I was at a place in my life to need that reassurance. It was like my grandma asked “my angels” to come down and personally deliver this letter... Immediately I stubbornly put “my angels” to the test and sent them a few requests and challenges, just to prove they didn’t exist. Thus far, all requests have been met. Turns out I do have angels and they’ve missed helping me. :) It was just what I needed, to be able to put some of the burden on my angels and focus more on the little things. It’s a slow process for me, but I often catch myself doing that creepy smile-in-public-for-no-apparent-reason grin, just because I’m so thankful and happy for everything in my life. For me, being able to ask for help and share some of the burden of life has allowed me to focus on the my life.